Share
The Psychology of Your Future Self and How Your Present Illusions Hinder Your Future Happiness

The Psychology of Your Future Self and How Your Present Illusions Hinder Your Future Happiness

Ths is an RSS Feed from www.brainpickings.org, written by Maria Popova

“Human beings are works in progress that mistakenly think they’re finished.”

Philosopher Joshua Knobe recently posed a perplexing question in contemplating the nature of the self: If the person you will be in 30 years — the person for whom you plan your life now by working toward career goals and putting money aside in retirements plans — is invariably different from the person you are today, what makes that future person “you”? What makes them worthy of your present self’s sacrifices and considerations? That’s precisely what Harvard psychologist Daniel Gilbert explores in this short and pause-giving TED talk on the psychology of your future self and how to avoid the mistakes you’re likely to make in trying to satisfy that future self with your present choices. Picking up from his now-classic 2006 book Stumbling on Happiness (public library), Gilbert argues that we’re bedeviled by a “fundamental misconception about the power of time” and a dangerous misconception known as “the end of history illusion” — at any point along our personal journey, we tend to believe that who we are at that moment is the final destination of our becoming. Which, of course, is not only wrong but a source of much of our unhappiness.

Human beings are works in progress that mistakenly think they’re finished. The person you are right now is as transient, as fleeting and as temporary as all the people you’re ever been. The one constant in our lives is change.

Gilbert explores this paradox in greater, pleasantly uncomfortable-making, strangely reassuring detail in Stumbling on Happiness — one of these essential books on the art-science of happiness. He writes:

What would you do right now if you learned that you were going to die in ten minutes? Would you race upstairs and light that Marlboro you’ve been hiding in your sock drawer since the Ford administration? Would you waltz into your boss’s office and present him with a detailed description of his personal defects? Would you drive out to that steakhouse near the new mall and order a T-bone, medium rare, with an extra side of the really bad cholesterol?

The things we do when we expect our lives to continue are naturally and properly different than the things we might do if we expected them to end abruptly. We go easy on the lard and tobacco, smile dutifully at yet another of our supervisor’s witless jokes, read books like this one when we could be wearing paper hats and eating pistachio macaroons in the bathtub, and we do each of these things in the charitable service of the people we will soon become. We treat our future selves as though they were our children, spending most of the hours of most of our days constructing tomorrows that we hope will make them happy. Rather than indulging in whatever strikes our momentary fancy, we take responsibility for the welfare of our future selves, squirreling away portions of our paychecks each month so they can enjoy their retirements on a putting green, jogging and flossing with some regularity so they can avoid coronaries and gum grafts, enduring dirty diapers and mind-numbing repetitions of The Cat in the Hat so that someday they will have fat-cheeked grandchildren to bounce on their laps. Even plunking down a dollar at the convenience store is an act of charity intended to ensure that the person we are about to become will enjoy the Twinkie we are paying for now. In fact, just about any time we want something — a promotion, a marriage, an automobile, a cheeseburger — we are expecting that if we get it, then the person who has our fingerprints a second, minute, day, or decade from now will enjoy the world they inherit from us, honoring our sacrifices as they reap the harvest of our shrewd investment decisions and dietary forbearance.

[But] our temporal progeny are often thankless. We toil and sweat to give them just what we think they will like, and they quit their jobs, grow their hair, move to or from San Francisco, and wonder how we could ever have been stupid enough to think they’d like that. We fail to achieve the accolades and rewards that we consider crucial to their well-being, and they end up thanking God that things didn’t work out according to our shortsighted, misguided plan. Even that person who takes a bite of the Twinkie we purchased a few minutes earlier may make a sour face and accuse us of having bought the wrong snack.

This gives another layer of meaning to Albert Camus’s assertion that “those who prefer their principles over their happiness, they refuse to be happy outside the conditions they seem to have attached to their happiness.” Our in-the-moment principles and attachments, after all, may be of no concern to our future selves in their pursuit of happiness.

In the remainder of Stumbling on Happiness, Gilbert, who argues that “the mistakes we make when we try to imagine our personal futures are also lawful, regular, and systematic,” explores the sometimes subtle, sometimes radical changes we can make in our everyday cognitive strategies in order to avoid ending up unhappy and disappointed by unlearning because we set goals for the people we are when we set them rather than the people we become when we reach them.

 

47 Comments on this Post

  1. Thank you for your sharing. I am worried that I lack creative ideas. It is your article that makes me full of hope. Thank you. But, I have a question, can you help me? https://accounts.binance.com/vi/register-person?ref=YY80CKRN

    Reply
  2. I loved it as much as you’ll end it here. The sketch and writing are good, but you’re nervous about what comes next. Definitely come back because it’s pretty much always the same if you protect this walk.

    Reply
  3. I loved even more than you will get done right here. The overall look is nice, and the writing is stylish, but there’s something off about the way you write that makes me think that you should be careful what you say next. I will definitely be back again and again if you protect this hike.

    Reply
  4. I just could not depart your web site prior to suggesting that I really loved the usual info an individual supply in your visitors Is gonna be back regularly to check up on new posts

    Reply
  5. Thank you for the good article. It’s great and very useful. บาคาร่าเว็บตรง

    Reply
  6. I would claim that a true assistance is involved in producing excellent posts. It’s my first time visiting your website, and I’m amazed at how much research you did to produce such a fantastic article. Fantastic work!

    Reply
  7. I don’t think the title of your article matches the content lol. Just kidding, mainly because I had some doubts after reading the article.

    Reply
  8. Your point of view caught my eye and was very interesting. Thanks. I have a question for you.

    Reply
  9. Segera mainkan slot gacor terpopuler dan terpercaya hanya di Xiaomitoto.

    Reply
  10. I loved as much as you will receive carried out right here The sketch is tasteful your authored subject matter stylish nonetheless you command get got an edginess over that you wish be delivering the following unwell unquestionably come further formerly again as exactly the same nearly very often inside case you shield this hike

    Reply
  11. I just could not leave your web site before suggesting that I really enjoyed the standard information a person supply to your visitors Is gonna be again steadily in order to check up on new posts

    Reply
  12. I do agree with all the ideas you have introduced on your post They are very convincing and will definitely work Still the posts are very short for newbies May just you please prolong them a little from subsequent time Thank you for the post

    Reply
  13. Thank you for the auspicious writeup It in fact was a amusement account it Look advanced to more added agreeable from you By the way how could we communicate

    Reply
  14. helloI really like your writing so a lot share we keep up a correspondence extra approximately your post on AOL I need an expert in this house to unravel my problem May be that is you Taking a look ahead to see you

    Reply
  15. Temp mail very informative articles or reviews at this time.

    Reply
  16. hiI like your writing so much share we be in contact more approximately your article on AOL I need a specialist in this area to resolve my problem Maybe that is you Looking ahead to see you

    Reply
  17. Your blog is a breath of fresh air in the crowded online space. I appreciate the unique perspective you bring to every topic you cover. Keep up the fantastic work!

    Reply
  18. I loved as much as youll receive carried out right here The sketch is tasteful your authored material stylish nonetheless you command get bought an nervousness over that you wish be delivering the following unwell unquestionably come more formerly again since exactly the same nearly a lot often inside case you shield this hike

    Reply
  19. I just could not depart your web site prior to suggesting that I really loved the usual info an individual supply in your visitors Is gonna be back regularly to check up on new posts

    Reply
  20. Eu acredito que todas as idéias que você apresentou para sua postagem são realmente convincentes e certamente funcionarão. No entanto, as postagens são muito curtas para novatos. Você pode, por favor, alongá-las um pouco nas próximas vezes. Obrigado pela postagem

    Reply
  21. Excellent blog here Also your website loads up very fast What web host are you using Can I get your affiliate link to your host I wish my web site loaded up as quickly as yours lol

    Reply
  22. olá, gosto muito da sua escrita, tanto que mantemos uma correspondência extra sobre sua postagem na AOL. Preciso de um especialista neste espaço para desvendar meu problema. Talvez seja você. Estou ansioso para vê-lo

    Reply
  23. Alguém essencialmente deu uma mão para fazer artigos significativos. Id state Essa é a primeira vez que visitei a página do seu site e até agora fiquei surpreso com a pesquisa que você fez para tornar este envio real incrível Tarefa maravilhosa

    Reply
  24. Your blog is a beacon of light in the often murky waters of online content. Your thoughtful analysis and insightful commentary never fail to leave a lasting impression. Keep up the amazing work!

    Reply
  25. Hi my loved one I wish to say that this post is amazing nice written and include approximately all vital infos Id like to peer more posts like this

    Reply
  26. ในฐานะแพลตฟอร์มการพนันที่มีประสบการณ์ยาวนานหลายปี fun88 มุ่งมั่นที่จะมอบประสบการณ์การพนันออนไลน์ที่ปลอดภัย ยุติธรรม และน่าตื่นเต้นแก่ผู้เล่น.fun88 มือถือ

    Reply
  27. Internet Chicks very informative articles or reviews at this time.

    Reply
  28. BaddieHub You’re so awesome! I don’t believe I have read a single thing like that before. So great to find someone with some original thoughts on this topic. Really.. thank you for starting this up. This website is something that is needed on the internet, someone with a little originality!

    Reply
  29. The degree of my admiration for your work is as substantial as your own sentiment. Your visual display is tasteful, and the authored content is stylish. However, you appear apprehensive about the possibility of delivering something that may be viewed as questionable. I believe you’ll be able to rectify this matter efficiently.

    Reply
  30. Hi, I’m Jack. Your website has become my go-to destination for expert advice and knowledge. Keep up the fantastic work!

    Reply
  31. you are truly a just right webmaster The site loading speed is incredible It kind of feels that youre doing any distinctive trick In addition The contents are masterwork you have done a great activity in this matter

    Reply
  32. Usually I do not read article on blogs however I would like to say that this writeup very compelled me to take a look at and do so Your writing taste has been amazed me Thanks quite nice post

    Reply
  33. I was recommended this website by my cousin I am not sure whether this post is written by him as nobody else know such detailed about my difficulty You are wonderful Thanks

    Reply
  34. Kalorifer Sobası odun, kömür, pelet gibi yakıtlarla çalışan ve ısıtma işlevi gören bir soba türüdür.

    Reply
  35. Family Dollar I do not even understand how I ended up here, but I assumed this publish used to be great

    Reply
  36. Simply wish to say your article is as amazing The clearness in your post is just nice and i could assume youre an expert on this subject Well with your permission let me to grab your feed to keep updated with forthcoming post Thanks a million and please carry on the gratifying work

    Reply
  37. Nice blog here Also your site loads up very fast What host are you using Can I get your affiliate link to your host I wish my site loaded up as quickly as yours lol

    Reply
  38. Touch to Unlock This is really interesting, You’re a very skilled blogger. I’ve joined your feed and look forward to seeking more of your magnificent post. Also, I’ve shared your site in my social networks!

    Reply
  39. Your blog is a breath of fresh air in the often stagnant world of online content. Your thoughtful analysis and insightful commentary never fail to leave a lasting impression. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us.

    Reply
  40. Mangaclash This is my first time pay a quick visit at here and i am really happy to read everthing at one place

    Reply
  41. Keep up the fantastic work! Kalorifer Sobası odun, kömür, pelet gibi yakıtlarla çalışan ve ısıtma işlevi gören bir soba türüdür. Kalorifer Sobası içindeki yakıtın yanmasıyla oluşan ısıyı doğrudan çevresine yayar ve aynı zamanda suyun ısınmasını sağlar.

    Reply
  42. FinTech ZoomUs This was beautiful Admin. Thank you for your reflections.

    Reply
  43. Your point of view caught my eye and was very interesting. Thanks. I have a question for you.

    Reply

Leave a Reply